This is the fifth state I live in (after Indiana,
Washington, Ohio, and Colorado), plus two different cities in Russia
(Novosibirsk, my home town, and Moscow). Regional differences are my private
delight. Some people enjoy looking for big essential differences. For example,
I am often asked about cultural differences between Russians and Americans. I
find those conversations very boring and generalizations mainly wrong. Both
countries are extremely diverse on many different levels, and almost anything
you say about them in general sounds false. However, the tiny variations of
accent and affect between, say northern Colorado and Northwest Ohio seem to be
fascinating and somehow more profound to me. For example, people in Novosibirsk
generally walk slower than the Muscovites; Siberians hate waiting lines and
everyone in them, while Muscovites tend to be somewhat more social in line and
enjoy a good talk with strangers. One small thing that always gives away
Russians in America and Americans in Russia is the eye contact with strangers:
quick and intense for Russians, longer and inconsequential for Americans. Ohioans
can say “I am fixin’ to…” in a sense “I intend to…” I have not heard that in
any other state. Coloradoans still keep
the pioneer spirit – it is very easy to talk them into trying something new. Seattle
is a city with subtle and sophisticated culture, which you can miss entirely if
you stay there for a short time.
Because this is my private hobby, I don’t have to be right
about anything. This is just a way for me to feel more at home in a new place. We
tell ourselves stories not only to learn about the world, but to create a frame
of reference, to domesticate our experience. If I can at least understand or
pretend to understand just one rule in the new place, I feel better.
Here is my scoop on Rhody. When a driver facing you wants to
turn left, you should blink your headlights, and let him or her go. It is
expected, and makes a lot of sense on narrow streets with heavy traffic. You’re
not going very fast anyway, so why not unclog traffic going in the opposite
direction? If you don’t, you can get a finger. Traffic lanes are more optional,
so you should be hyperaware of your environment. Someone may drive on the wrong
side of the street, so you need to scoot over to the shoulder. But there is
always enough space for you to scoot over – that’s the rule. Russians also have
a whole set of informal traffic rules, not written anywhere, but clearly
understood by most people.
Rhode Islanders are not quick to smile; you have to deserve it.
They are more of a wise-cracking, get-real bunch, rather than the sunny and
smiley Westerners, or chill-and-let-others-chill Seatleites. Ohioans tend to be
exaggeratingly polite and welcoming, but it actually takes much longer to get
closer to them; there is a clear line between the locals and the outsiders. Of
all places, I found Ohio to be the only place where my foreignness mattered for
a while at least. In Rhode Island, once
you pass the initial test, and proves to be not a jerk, most people seem to be
very helpful and open, with actions more than with words. I had several experiences with DMV and other
offices, where clerks all look somewhat unwelcoming, but are also willing to look
the other way when your paperwork is not exactly perfect. The partings are
inevitably much warmer than the greetings. This seems to be a place with a
stronger working class subculture, which I can relate to. Believe it or not, my
working class neighborhood in Siberia was not that different from those in
Providence. People will be suspicious to BS in all its forms, and expect some
solidarity in the common purpose to defy the authorities. But they are not
above trying to take you for a ride, if you look like gullible.
Of course, there is the Rhody accent. I still cannot hear
the differences between local variations within it, and perhaps never will. But
there is also a specific mannerism in speaking – more loud and more direct; “I
am telling it like it is” seems to be the subtext, which I rather enjoy. In the
Midwest and in the West, I sometimes get in trouble by arguing with people.
While in Eastern Europe disagreement is a sign of respect (I am taking you seriously
if I bother to challenge your thinking), it is not in the Western half of the
United States, and I suspect in the South. You need to give out other signs of
respect first, and only then can you openly disagree. Here I find a number of
people who like me enjoy a good argument, and mean no disrespect by it.
There are probably others who think differently, but they have
not come out yet and told me so. Please do if you’re one of them. We all come
from somewhere, and bring assumptions with us. The big differences are easy to
spot and deal with; the small ones can often go unnoticed and be attributed to ill
intent rather than to a cultural accident.